“The Artist is no other than he who unlearns what he has learned, in order to know himself.” ~E.E. Cummings
Minutes before the Full Moon in Gemini, I was listening to this inner voice saying so clearly, “ you will get about $2000 for your car.” The song “Can’t stop the Feeling” by Justin Timberlake came on the radio, as different cars’ part flashed on my head and then suddenly the car in front of me stopped. I turned my car to the right to avoid it and clipped the bumper.
I said, “Okay, Universe, let me be surprised by the wonderful new things you have planned for me. “
I had been in good spirit and even after the accident, I continued to be focused and deliberate in action. I called 911, asked the other car if anyone was hurt, got my insurance information out, called my mom to come pick me up. I checked again with the young woman who hadn’t had an accident before and told them the routine. Attempted to ease her mind that she is fine and the car can easily be fixed.
It was all automatic for me. It was the third time and the last time (thank you Universe) for a totaled car. 2001, my Trooper has a mechanical failure and the car rolled over. I walked away. In 2003, while driving down from Oregon on a road trip with friends, a drunk driver hit us. I walked away. Though I did get the reminder of “You are loved and loved! Don’t forget that.” I haven’t and get a clue just how much this is true.
Throughout this last year, I had looked at cars and always back to the fact; I really love my little 2005 Spectra Five. I had just thought about replacing the tint on the windows and maybe a new paint job. This car fits me, though now I had outgrown the energy of this car and deserved something a little nicer. The Spectra Five now was cleared out and gone.
I am so thankful and grateful I am open to receive something new. I obviously release attitudes and things that had held me back from true progress. I have planted many seeds in my career, personal life… well, in all areas of my life; All with gratitude.
Now, I am, in a way, forced to sit still, without a car and focus on my new life and the new story I am co-creating now. 2016, year of completion, truly was a year of closing the chapters on many years of the good, the bad and lots of ugly. The ugliest of all the contrast I had release now, seeing the damage and growth in my journey. 2017 is the year of new creation, new adventures, and new story.
And as E.E. Cummings said, I have unlearned things I had learned and realized more of who I am through this year of review and closure. I am grateful for all of it and thankful for the insights and lessons I had been blessed with and understand now more about the power I hold dear.
Remembering the sweetness I have added to people’s lives, the smiles, comfort, the confirmation, inspiration, and strength. I have often heard from people since kids signed yearbooks “You are so sweet. Please don’t change.” In the past, it felt like an obligation to be “sweet” or kind. Now it is an honor and a gift to share kindness and be just “me.”
Now focusing on keeping my word to myself first and then to others, all in service to the highest good. Having integrity means much to me and I have seen how I had punished myself when I felt out of it. Settling for less in all areas of my life is a change I am making. I deserve the best. Only the best.
I have manifested many wonderful things. I asked the Universe for a change agent to assist me in realigning myself to receive the best by being the best I can be. A wonderful teacher came back into my life and I am now finishing up her brilliant class, “Thirty days to a Charmed Life.” Bernadette Dickenson has been a good friend and a wonderful teacher/coach. We all need support. I am grateful for hers at the closing of this completing year. She is starting another one in January if you are interested.
2017 is a one year… a new story… new adventures and new possibilities. So write your new story. You know I am and I plan on writing more this new year. Enjoy creating yours.
“Words transform both speaker and hearer; they feed energy back and forth and amplify it. They feed understanding or emotion back and forth and amplify it.” Ursula K. Le Guin
April 2017 UPDATE: After realizing how much the local dealerships add onto the cost of the car… I told the Universe the right car for me is a private seller. I let go and went on with other things. I was still hearing from many people about getting the car. I focused on other things. One late afternoon, I decide out of the blue to go for a walk. along the way, I met up with a neighbor driving in who stopped to chat. He was selling his 2012 Honda Accord loaded with most of the things I was looking for plus more. The price was right and within a week, I got my car from a private seller at the right price.
Hold tight to the magic within you. As the world’s chaos and madness seemingly expand. Your magic is the key to getting through this With your sanity, your soul and your being intact. Focus within; on the love and know the love is real. And this madness is the symptom of the healing the world needs.
How many years do you need for the ruby, through the Sun’s work, to obtain its rich color and its dazzle? ~Rumi
Or a translation of this is… “Great projects and achievements require time and patience. Success will take time, but will come.”
Or there is a Divine Timing at play. Do what you must and it will come.
At times, I feel like this is just an excuse for it not happening yet. Though through my experiences, it all catches up with you. Usually after one has forgotten what they desired. So I typically say it, write it and let go. I follow through (most of the time) on the things that just pop up in my head and continue on my day; focusing on the To Do list of the fun activities for my business. I am so grateful for still doing my business. Parts have changed and others pop up and I enjoy my clients’ positive progress along the way.
I find my awareness is increasing on those past things I desired though some I dropped from my wanted list… They came anyway… though negative things I focused on too long, yet at the time…I didn’t realize what I was signing up for at the time.
Through waves of despair and wandering heart, I found the simple life I wasn’t expecting nor necessarily looking for yet I have all my needs met, so how can I complain? I am grateful for me being simply me. As guided, I pull a few cards from Rumi deck. The basic answer in the overall is to be patience, it is coming. Be grateful for what you have and people and things are coming. Breathe.
The truth is I need to just know I am safe and trust the process. In my life, trust I am on track as the more I feel joy and less anxiety about the daily doings of the day…solutions appear to any situation troubling me. In some form or way, the answers I am looking for do come to me, as the cards suggest. Success will come.
Perhaps that instant gratification so many looks for comes quicker if they noticed it is coming and not the fact it wasn’t what they expected. The blocks created by this instant gratification situation are mounting up in the highest of place in the government as the dissatisfaction from many people feeling low and unable to get any satisfaction as all.
It is in the displeasure or pleasure one focuses on is the reality created. The awareness of knowing the inner power one has opened the worlds to new possibilities or that potential.
Many blocks themselves yet know they have the power of change. It is only the choice to change that needs to realize and the powers they have handed to others in creating their beliefs along the way.
For example, I recently realized I had handed some of my business creation power over to a CPA I had been using. He strongly suggested keeping the business small years ago. Why the hell did I listen to him? The fact is I trusted many “tests” from the Universe on my awareness on my inner powers. I do remember not liking that thinking, yet I did follow his advice. So silly was I?! Now I am no longer using his services, nor having any connect with him. Yet as I said, I listen to many people I trusted, including my parents and I paid for these…greatly.
I could only take responsibility and clear it out of me now as I was going against myself and stopped trusting myself. I actually felt that I had stopped living or began a shamanic death to clear all that unneeded advice and results. I needed to stop and recognize what I had created and the ways I created to change what I was creating.
Now things I need to let go somehow get changed and poof… are gone. Of course, this is more on my wishes of simplifying my life and business to run smarter, not harder.
One of the last cards I pulled from Rumi was:
“Don’t go anywhere, I beg you; the Moon you are looking for is inside you.”
Or ‘Realize that everything you need is where you are.’
Enjoy your present moment as all you need is in the present moment at this time. Embrace the sweet realization you are well on your way to receiving your desires… you just need to be open to receive them with the joy of them being present in every breath you take. ~jh
Words come through me as I see inspirations around me. Thoughts and lessons learned repeatedly come and go as I co-create this new day.
I find myself filling up with this universal hug of love as I simply touch the keyboard and acknowledge some of those lessons learned… a good job and keep going hug.
So what was I thinking to get such a great response to insights?
I share with others as I am here to support others and other support me as there is no true competition… no one is better than the other. Just different experiences and uniqueness of Being.
Each has attracted experiences with what they need or desire into their lives…the good, the bad and sometimes, the ugly. It is all for your betterment, like it or not. The mirror of others around you is there for a reason. All that your experiences are what you call into your life to learn from the experience.
Feel the fear, but don’t live by or in it for long. Fear is a sign of change…needed and wanted for motivation. So unless you just want negative situations, people and things, change to more of what you do want to experience in balance.
Labels are just reminders of things done and what still can be done, though it is just for the experiences and to support others on their journey of the human experience.
Embrace the moment as just an experience, giving all you can, yet know you will get through for the better… even in death. To some, that is the best…completion of the cycle of life. There are many forms of death and most are not the physical ending of your life. End of a habit, a way of thinking, the end of an experience.
Protect oneself from less desirable experiences… most of those are from the out of balance ego and disconnection from Source…one’s Higher Self, True Self and the wisdom innately available to all of us; by focusing more on the ego or too much being above it all, not grounded in truth.
Be grounded in your human experience and not caught in the “above it all” space. You will get grounded the hard way. BOOM! Be there and got that! Ouch.
Abundance comes in all forms, not just the monetarily kind. Acknowledge all forms of abundance to gain more of what you like. Don’t turn a blind eye to the abundance of friendships, kindness, support, and family by acknowledging and focusing on the other less wanted types… heartbreak, hard lessons, betrayals, deceit… Learn from all forms.
Be in touch with your inner child, that inner guidance and reminder… Life is supposed to be fun.
Integrity with Self is being in integrity with others. Say or speak your peace with kindness. Perspectives may change with experiences or the witnessing of others’ experience… keep an open mind and heart.
Animals…all animals are the teachers of living within the loving balance of Mother Nature, Mother Earth. Pets ground us in unconditional love.
Universal Laws are guidance to ease your journey. Co-creating with the Universe is much easier than thinking you know better. At times, it is best to step aside, let go and see what happens. Others it is time to take actions and by following that inner voice/ inner child/ intuitional pull… you know what to do.
Know thyself. Meaning understand your inner signals of guidance. Understand those weird feelings and trust it through “testing the outcome.” I have done this a few times…followed through on things with misreading the signs and intuition because I trusted others or outside myself for what was right to do…WRONG. I learned that one many time. Again, ouch. Smiling.
We are here for certain experiences, including not feeling like we belong here. We are switching course and when we really aren’t supposed to be here anymore…We won’t be. Enjoy each moment with love and appreciation. Tell the people how you feel. The vulnerability isn’t a dirty or bad word. It makes you human and that is why you are here… to be a part of humanity in all its messed up and beautiful ways.
Enjoy, yet don’t force the process. Some processes take a little time…allow it. All is divine and you are safe.
Learn from others… The Masters of Universal Laws and Common Sense. It makes the trip easier and wiser.
2016 and 2017 are years of purification and the surfacing inner junk to be release and. Not easy years if you are surprised the awareness by the sluggish stuff you are carrying unconsciously. Feel into it, acknowledge the crap you have to release, write it out and release it. And if it comes to visit again… feel it, acknowledge it and release it with thanks for the reminder. Breathe and move the energies…yoga, dance, or simply walk in nature. EFT and other healing modalities assist in moving the energies out of you or bring it to the surface to be released.
More people are coming into the understanding and conscious awareness of what they want to change. Some may attempt to change through violent means or through the bulldozer of fearful words or actions. Be of love to all. Compassionate without being absorbing the energies. Center into your core of Love and the simple steps of change with happen with gratitude and abundance.
Namaste. Hugs and Much appreciation. Thank you.
I am available to assist you with your concerns and issues. Please schedule or call through the button below.
In the presence of all that is… I sensed Love; that embracing all consuming essence of Love and Joy and Peace and… You can name and place any and all positive adjectives here. It was a moment of moments… remembering the truth and remembering that truth I didn’t want to leave, forget nor let go of. Especially after the Silence spoke: “You are Love and Loved. Don’t Forget That.”
I didn’t forget the words, yet at times, I did the meaning. I got wrapped up in the “worldly” things. Then something always took me back to that moment and that feeling of this is just an experience I signed up for and simply enjoy the illusion. You don’t have to nor are buying it… just experiencing this potential. The highs and the lows.
And that is what this is about… the experience of understanding this game of life.
Those moments of desperate angst as the life stops flowing and then when you can’t seem to do anything wrong. You are in the life’s flow or vortex. It is all magic and love.
Magic is the understanding your own power of imagination and with a little thought about that possibility…the Universe says…Okay, that is what you want to experience so you get it…that you don’t want that experience…really. You know you can do better and slowly you do. You focus your thoughts and move into a better way of thinking… Or I did. Those words after the head-on collision:
“You are Love and Loved.”
How more simple can they say it? It can be so simple that one may just scratch the head and go “HUH?”
The spiritual teachers and gurus tell you the same and as humans, we can make it so difficult… I know I did. Yet the Universe is listening and watching. And they tend to show me in the direction of someone who knows it and opens the mind up again…And again, and again. I do get it.
And as the moment of sharing a loving conversation with a wonderful friend this morning who gets it too… and the unlimited of this experience is now, I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be for this time, being love and being loved. Trusting the thoughts of unlimited potentially are all for the highest good with compassion and joy.
It is simple to make life easy or difficult. The more demands of your thoughts, the more you are asking to be reminded of the simple fact… You are love and loved. BE.
Be happy, be kind and be open to the experiences you create into your life. You are not your body… You are a soul and love in the pure essence in all that is. Be real. Be true. Be creative in your experience…Be in love. Namaste. ~jh
originally posted in 2011 on “JennHillmanReflections”
Jen is offering a special offer to new and returning clients.
Her One Hour Session for $20.00 off for a limited time. And you can split this into two 30 minute sessions.
now the small print stuff….
You must buy by November 30, 2016. You must prepay for the full hour session before you schedule your session(s). You must let Jen know at the scheduling time of the session if you are splitting this into two sessions of 30 minutes. If the 30-minute session runs over the 30 minutes, you will be charged for the extra minutes at a reduced fee of $2.00/minute to be paid immediately after the session ends. It can not be taken off the other pending 30 minutes. You must use the entire 60 minutes or lose the reminding time, though if you have one question, follow-up is available.
“I felt very still and empty, the way the eye of a tornado must feel, moving dully along in the middle of the surrounding hullabaloo.” ― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
Empty. I have emptied myself out. After a recent bout with my inner demons of fear, low self-esteem, unworthiness, doubt, depression came to visit all at once. The fetal position was my favorite comfort zone and wanting to hide again. Wondering why I am here and my purpose of being. I was guided to certain things like re-reading The Alchemist and The Silence by Robert Sardello, listening too closely to the inner voice musing through the music daily. I began to get answers from within for the outer chaos dancing around me and looking for a way out of it.
“You are here. You are meant to be here. Get use to it. Stop arguing with creation.” ~Bashar
Do we argue with our creations? Do we focus too much of the design’s detail and create resistance with the process? Hell yea I know I have, with the inner knowing of the plan of the dream for over a decade, I have to build a little, retreated a lot with the pressure of realization of the plan came close.
Why would I? Knowing the beauty and ease available once I broke through that wall. Or did I really? There will always be another wall or level in the journey. The perception of how thick of the wall is up to the individual and I saw it as a thick 6″ Plexiglas box that seemed to grow each time I got closer to getting through so I would stop and regroup… with the demons waiting in the wings to pounce during those moments. Yet knowing most of my challenges were self-made.
“To realize one’s destiny is a person’s only obligation.” ~ The old man told Santiago in The Alchemist.
Do we create hardships when they aren’t necessary? No, we may slow the progress down with the inner voice patiently allowing us dancing with our truths. Yet all is in the divine time and we know how much we like that at times. I needed to test and challenged as I was stupidly asked for it. I question my sanity and ego at times. I always get an answer, not always liking the answer I receive.
“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” ~Paulo Coelho
As I am on my knees in tears, asking the inner voice why is this misery happening to me? I am gifted with an inner video of the exact moment I asked for it. Damn. I get in full color from the witness position with the giggling of the inner voice and the tear of my inner child in the background.
Silly me, yet life is a paradox with your sense of the unlimited possibilities, the universe whispering to us and the reality we each face daily. I actually do enjoy this in hindsight. I can only laugh at myself and this journey I am creating for myself. Great content for articles, books and insights to understand my clients and what is going on with them.
I have allowed the persistence of the inner demons’ taunting get to me, breaking me down into that fetal position, losing touch with my truth. I split myself in half, having to hold tight to the reality I know to be truth and the darkness of the inner demons’ dance.
The last bout with my inner demons was quite the dance, though the universe heard my prayers and sent in the omen through songs (like “Shake it off” by Taylor Swift), nature signs of visits from hawks (guardian messengers), ravens (magic and shape-shifting), owls, (omens and seeing through the darkness into the light) and eagle (take the higher vision of dreams)) and meditation with the truth I had hidden from myself and connection with Sophia returned.
I broke through a wall as the sun broke through my window after I dance with the moon in the early morning, seeing my shadow below me… A smile came and lightness to my heart that has been aching for weeks. It was like I could breathe again after holding my breath for months. Clarity and courage returned as well as those soothing whispers of the Soul of World with the understanding of the challenges are gifts of love. Gifts for our evolution into the true sense of love and all its powerful manifestations has we dance with those inner demons.
Omens revealed mystery which I was holding in hidden ways that distracted me from breaking a hole through that thinning Plexiglas as the clarity of my dream appeared within those moments doing the class exercises. Slowly peeling back the self-deceptive denial and owning the reality I created and now being more responsibility for the current dream unfolding. Now it is time to allow the true adventure to live and to meet my destiny head on. So my plan is going through the ceiling instead of wasting any more time with those walls to embrace the plan I know and releasing the need to struggle.
“No matter what he does, every person on earth plays a central role in the history of the world. And normally he doesn’t know it.” The Alchemist to Santiago in Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist.
Do you know your role in the world’s history? If you have a dream, an inner whispering and calling to you, you do and now is your time to claim your destiny.
The alchemy lives in each of us and it is up to us to change and live the dreams into reality or the lead into gold. Empowering ourselves through the trials and tests we meet up with each day. Connecting with the heart and allowing those whispers of omens guides us forward to meet our destiny and victory of self, the divine plan leading to the treasure we seek. ~jh
(Original published in RebelleSociety.com) Image by Julio Aries
“The greatest wealth is a poverty of desires.” ~Seneca~
I recently wrote the Universe Knowing in truth a note to myself about the parallel and oppositions flowing through my mind choices made lessons learned loses and gains
the presence of truth the beauty of love the grace of sensing all the world within me
looking at my experiences materially and spiritually counting the blessings in the loss of most material things opening the heart to the spirit
feeling an emptiness of desires of wanting to do this or that
wondering if I am out of alignment? perspective off in some way? Is my integrity intact as I did stop walking my talk In the sense of doing that and this?
Just didn’t have the need, want or desire for it
Feeling just a strange knowing Of peace, Of joy And Being.
Embracing this… Seemed odd And somehow not right
Now realizing in truth I am right on due course To true Self Living a freedom Alien to me before.
Busyness not needed My mind seems wanders Maybe I ought to be doing Then I stop and ask myself a simple question
Is this my mind or my heart/soul speaking?
The words vanish most of the time Unless the heart/soul speaking The nudge to get moving start kicking in
I just smile with the brilliance of the signs I am receiving for confirmation to my letter Eight simple words placed before my eyes “The greatest wealth is a poverty of desires.” From the wisdom of Seneca
That emptiness is filling with love, joy, and compassion As my world lifts up and beyond my mind’s desires and needs. Knowing my needs and desires are already met.
It is worth repeating… “The greatest wealth is a poverty of desires.” ~Seneca~
Embrace your emptiness and let your heart fill it with Love and the universe will deliver just what you need. ~jh