Go with the Feeling

Go with the Feeling

“The Artist is no other than he who unlearns what he has learned, in order to know himself.”
E.E. Cummings

Minutes before the Full Moon in Gemini, I was listening to this inner voice saying so clearly, “ you will get about $2000 for your car.” The song “Can’t stop the Feeling”  by Justin Timberlake came on the radio, as different cars’ part flashed on my head and then suddenly the car in front of me stopped. I turned my car to the right to avoid it and clipped the bumper.

I said, “Okay, Universe, let me be surprised by the wonderful new things you have planned for me. “

I had been in good spirit and even after the accident, I continued to be focused and deliberate in action. I called 911, asked the other car if anyone was hurt, got my insurance information out, called my mom to come pick me up. I checked again with the young woman who hadn’t had an accident before and told them the routine. Attempted to ease her mind that she is fine and the car can easily be fixed.

It was all automatic for me. It was the third time and the last time (thank you Universe) for a totaled car. 2001, my Trooper has a mechanical failure and the car rolled over. I walked away.  In 2003, while driving down from Oregon on a road trip with friends, a drunk driver hit us. I walked away. Though I did get the reminder of “You are loved and loved! Don’t forget that.”  I haven’t and get a clue just how much this is true.

Throughout this last year, I had looked at cars and always back to the fact; I really love my little 2005 Spectra Five. I had just thought about replacing the tint on the windows and maybe a new paint job. This car fits me, though now I had outgrown the energy of this car and deserved something a little nicer. The Spectra Five now was cleared out and gone.

I am so thankful and grateful I am open to receive something new. I obviously release attitudes and things that had held me back from true progress. I have planted many seeds in my career, personal life… well, in all areas of my life; All with gratitude.

Now, I am, in a way, forced to sit still, without a car and focus on my new life and the new story I am co-creating now.  2016, year of completion, truly was a year of closing the chapters on many years of the good, the bad and lots of ugly.  The ugliest of all the contrast I had release now, seeing the damage and growth in my journey.  2017 is the year of new creation, new adventures, and new story.

And as E.E. Cummings said, I have unlearned things I had learned and realized more of who I am through this year of review and closure.  I am grateful for all of it and thankful for the insights and lessons I had been blessed with and understand now more about the power I hold dear.

Remembering the sweetness I have added to people’s lives, the smiles, comfort, the confirmation, inspiration, and strength. I have often heard from people since kids signed yearbooks “You are so sweet. Please don’t change.”  In the past, it felt like an obligation to be “sweet” or kind. Now it is an honor and a gift to share kindness and be just “me.”

Now focusing on keeping my word to myself first and then to others, all in service to the highest good. Having integrity means much to me and I have seen how I had punished myself when I felt out of it. Settling for less in all areas of my life is a change I am making. I deserve the best. Only the best.

I have manifested many wonderful things. I asked the Universe for a change agent to assist me in realigning myself to receive the best by being the best I can be.  A wonderful teacher came back into my life and I am now finishing up her brilliant class, “Thirty days to a Charmed Life.”  Bernadette Dickenson has been a good friend and a wonderful teacher/coach. We all need support. I am grateful for hers at the closing of this completing year. She is starting another one in January if you are interested.

2017 is a one year… a new story… new adventures and new possibilities. So write your new story. You know I am and I plan on writing more this new year.  Enjoy creating yours.

“Words transform both speaker and hearer; they feed energy back and forth and amplify it. They feed understanding or emotion back and forth and amplify it.” Ursula K. Le Guin

April 2017 UPDATE:  After realizing how much the local dealerships add onto the cost of the car… I told the Universe the right car for me is a private seller. I let go and went on with other things. I was still hearing from many people about getting the car. I focused on other things. One late afternoon, I decide out of the blue to go for a walk. along the way, I met up with a neighbor driving in who stopped to chat. He was selling his 2012 Honda Accord loaded with most of the things I was looking for plus more. The price was right and within a week, I got my car from a private seller at the right price.

The Universe listens… Are you?


The Hidden Child

The Hidden Child

{~Des too funky divas}

{~Des too funky divas}


Child play among the stars and trees
Wandering about in wonder and awe
Driven to dance with tune and melodies
Living sweetly in her child heart
Voice be silenced and pushed beneath

Brothers and Sister more worthy
or is this true?
Or just an excuse for hiding her dreams

So dreams of other lands
realms of times not yet
and always present.

Imagination goes wild
Real and secure.
Wounds created,
Healed and festering
behind the pit of her mind.

Smiles hides the truth
As trust went hidden
and dreams faded to star-dust
So she continued to dance
with stars and trees

the breeze sings sweetly
her heart to breathe
opening her mind
releasing the monsters
and the magic
so long ago trapped
distant and cold.

Her magic returned
though hidden still
She waits for the sign
real for herself
Allowing her voice to be heard once again

The child just smiles
singing softly with the breeze
Knowing to trust herself,
the stars and the trees. ~jh


Yet Knowing

Yet Knowing

woman writing










Mind scattered
Overactive and undeceive
Visions of the missteps,
mistakes into lessons
laughing now after tears flowed
clearing the way to something now
stepping up with ideas
embracing them
find my way to completion
just get them done
Virgo comes to visit
details unfolding
offering what I have
not sure if it matters.

Reminding myself to center
in chaos swirls in the living
feeling the shadow’s caress
in the early mornings

the memories repeating
shaking me awake to breathe
Chiron and Neptune came to visit
lists of things still to do
seeing it continuing
growing distance to completion
knowing and sensing where I am to be
yet not.
overwhelming and
yet knowing too this is all temporary.

so write for a moment
clearing it all out of me
while listening to music
hearing the songs of other’s struggle
agreements being here
wishing the outcome was different
yet knowing it is for the best.
Surrendering and acceptance
The downfalls, rising to fall again
Yet knowing to rise again
Finding the balance in heart and love
the ways of the human experience expanding
Like the dream, one may want to wake up from
yet knowing within the unknowing
that is all it is. ~jh

Moment of Darkness

Moment of Darkness

{~Des too funky divas}

{~Des too funky divas}


Wrapping the mind around the moments of darkness,
head in hands and ripping the fabric.
Divorcing the present and dimensions felt, unseen and tasted.
Wondering the path of greatest
while touch the tenderness of love’s sweet embrace.
Wandering in the passion’s juices… imagination comes for a visit
whispering dreams of paintings and rhythms
Keeping peace between the seeming endless breathing
Wrapping the mind in parts and pieces
Metaphorically dancing in ribbons of a variety of colors
Music in tune yet distant and teasing
Listening hard to get at the truth
trusting the heart
Sitting back and waiting for another stream
of consciousness passing
Reaching out
Touching the lightness
Magic arrives and kisses the forehead
taking the hands and holding closely
Tears of joy, of truth, of passionate inspiration
run inside out and all around me
Infinity’s rays of rainbows’ wines and candies of Heaven
Touching Earth and Mother’s caress
All from a moment of darkness
Returning within where light lives always. ~jh

Full Moon Listening

Full Moon Listening

moon linger


Full moon glistening
As I sit listening to the Silence of the night
I say a little prayer of gratitude
Hearing the wisdom, insights and ways of correction
To manifest a better outcome

Clean up, clean out
The physical and the internal

Full more brilliance in colors
thoughts crisp and direct
as I surrender to those wisdom
release the tensions building in my shoulders
attempting to do it all myself
knowing support is all around

Knowing the words I read
are something
that resonates with me
clarifies and identifies situations
worth accepting

whispering to me

a signal my insecure is lurking
infinite notions of being
for me now a mix of
independent nurturing omnipresent babe
yet a little more of the
insecure nagging obsessive bitch

inob is easier to hear

ebb and form of being human.

Time to switch my inner thoughts
as I say hello to those parts of me
knowing the way to change it up
simple questions to answer to release

what a perfect time
as this full moon is listening
as I sit glistening in her light. ~jh