Transforming Emptiness to Wholeness

Transforming Emptiness to Wholeness

“I felt very still and empty, the way the eye of a tornado must feel, moving dully along in the middle of the surrounding hullabaloo.” ― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

Empty. I have emptied myself out. After a recent bout with my inner demons of fear, low self-esteem, unworthiness, doubt, depression came to visit all at once. The fetal position was my favorite comfort zone and wanting to hide again. Wondering why I am here and my purpose of being. I was guided to certain things like re-reading The Alchemist and The Silence by Robert Sardello, listening too closely to the inner voice musing through the music daily. I began to get answers from within for the outer chaos dancing around me and looking for a way out of it.

“You are here. You are meant to be here. Get use to it. Stop arguing with creation.” ~Bashar

Do we argue with our creations? Do we focus too much of the design’s detail and create resistance with the process? Hell yea I know I have, with the inner knowing of the plan of the dream for over a decade, I have to build a little, retreated a lot with the pressure of realization of the plan came close.

Why would I? Knowing the beauty and ease available once I broke through that wall. Or did I really? There will always be another wall or level in the journey. The perception of how thick of the wall is up to the individual and I saw it as a thick 6″ Plexiglas box that seemed to grow each time I got closer to getting through so I would stop and regroup… with the demons waiting in the wings to pounce during those moments. Yet knowing most of my challenges were self-made.

“To realize one’s destiny is a person’s only obligation.” ~ The old man told Santiago in The Alchemist.

Do we create hardships when they aren’t necessary?  No, we may slow the progress down with the inner voice patiently allowing us dancing with our truths. Yet all is in the divine time and we know how much we like that at times. I needed to test and challenged as I was stupidly asked for it. I question my sanity and ego at times. I always get an answer, not always liking the answer I receive.

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” ~Paulo Coelho

As I am on my knees in tears, asking the inner voice why is this misery happening to me? I am gifted with an inner video of the exact moment I asked for it. Damn. I get in full color from the witness position with the giggling of the inner voice and the tear of my inner child in the background.

Silly me, yet life is a paradox with your sense of the unlimited possibilities, the universe whispering to us and the reality we each face daily. I actually do enjoy this in hindsight. I can only laugh at myself and this journey I am creating for myself. Great content for articles, books and insights to understand my clients and what is going on with them.

I have allowed the persistence of the inner demons’ taunting get to me, breaking me down into that fetal position, losing touch with my truth. I split myself in half, having to hold tight to the reality I know to be truth and the darkness of the inner demons’ dance.

The last bout with my inner demons was quite the dance, though the universe heard my prayers and sent in the omen through songs (like “Shake it off” by Taylor Swift), nature signs of visits from hawks (guardian messengers), ravens (magic and shape-shifting), owls, (omens and seeing through the darkness into the light) and eagle (take the higher vision of dreams)) and meditation with the truth I had hidden from myself and connection with Sophia returned.

I broke through a wall as the sun broke through my window after I dance with the moon in the early morning, seeing my shadow below me… A smile came and lightness to my heart that has been aching for weeks. It was like I could breathe again after holding my breath for months. Clarity and courage returned as well as those soothing whispers of the Soul of World with the understanding of the challenges are gifts of love. Gifts for our evolution into the true sense of love and all its powerful manifestations has we dance with those inner demons.

Omens revealed mystery which I was holding in hidden ways that distracted me from breaking a hole through that thinning Plexiglas as the clarity of my dream appeared within those moments doing the class exercises. Slowly peeling back the self-deceptive denial and owning the reality I created and now being more responsibility for the current dream unfolding. Now it is time to allow the true adventure to live and to meet my destiny head on. So my plan is going through the ceiling instead of wasting any more time with those walls to embrace the plan I know and releasing the need to struggle.

“No matter what he does, every person on earth plays a central role in the history of the world. And normally he doesn’t know it.” The Alchemist to Santiago in Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist.

Do you know your role in the world’s history? If you have a dream, an inner whispering and calling to you, you do and now is your time to claim your destiny.

The alchemy lives in each of us and it is up to us to change and live the dreams into reality or the lead into gold. Empowering ourselves through the trials and tests we meet up with each day. Connecting with the heart and allowing those whispers of omens guides us forward to meet our destiny and victory of self, the divine plan leading to the treasure we seek. ~jh

(Original published in RebelleSociety.com)
Image by Julio Aries

the greatest wealth

the greatest wealth

 

{artist: -Chellelee-Nichols}

{artist: -Chellelee-Nichols}

“The greatest wealth is a poverty of desires.” ~Seneca~

I recently wrote the Universe
Knowing in truth
a note to myself
about the parallel and oppositions
flowing through my mind
choices made
lessons learned
loses and gains

the presence of truth
the beauty of love
the grace of sensing
all the world within me

looking at my experiences
materially and spiritually
counting the blessings
in the loss of most material things
opening the heart
to the spirit

feeling an emptiness
of desires
of wanting to do this or that

wondering if I am out of alignment?
perspective off in some way?
Is my integrity intact
as I did stop walking my talk
In the sense of doing that and this?

Just didn’t have the need, want or desire for it

Feeling just a strange knowing
Of peace,
Of joy
And Being.

Embracing this…
Seemed odd
And somehow not right

Now realizing in truth
I am right on due course
To true Self
Living a freedom
Alien to me before.

Busyness not needed
My mind seems wanders
Maybe I ought to be doing
Then I stop and ask myself
a simple question

Is this my mind or my heart/soul speaking?

The words vanish most of the time
Unless the heart/soul speaking
The nudge to get moving start kicking in

I just smile with the brilliance of the signs
I am receiving for confirmation to my letter
Eight simple words placed before my eyes
“The greatest wealth is a poverty of desires.”
From the wisdom of Seneca

That emptiness is filling with love, joy, and compassion
As my world lifts up and beyond my mind’s desires and needs.
Knowing my needs and desires are already met.

It is worth repeating…
“The greatest wealth is a poverty of desires.” ~Seneca~

Embrace your emptiness
and let your heart fill it with Love
and the universe will deliver just what you need. ~jh

 

Simplicity of Thought

Simplicity of Thought

cropped-dreampurple-flower-banner.jpg

Simplicity of thought

A motion’s dance as the heart beats

Pulsating to the rhythm of breath

The key to opening the heart

Divorce of reason

Purity of the soul’s voice

Surrounding the truth

Hidden in sorrow’s tears and laughter

Come alive and center

Touch the wandering mind and adventures waiting

Dance with the words, wind’s whispering presence

Allow the mystic’s calling to take you

Focus on the breath

The simple motion of being

Release the need to know

The thoughts crowding your essence

Let go and be in the mists of imagination

Wondering through the clouds of indecisions and self-doubt

To the understanding of the true perfection of Love we all be.

Dreams of living dreams, realities created by that wandering mind

Thoughts dancing on the beauty, grace and possibilities

Impress your expressions

And the world opens their hearts with your vulnerability of brilliance.

On the edge of light and darkness

Balancing the realms of determinations

Choices of reasons creating the path of adventures

Come emerging in techno-color and panoramic vision

Smiling, laughter and joyous brings the steps

To travel on this journey of options and deliberate pondering. ~jh

%d bloggers like this: