The Questions

The Questions

Anchor in Love

(jenniferhillman-redbubble.com)

The question was asked,
“Are you happy being YOU?”

Interesting direct question
To open your mind
To the brilliance you shine
While singing your sweet song.

Then the question begs to be asked,
What does it mean…To be you?

 

The sums of your life,
The pain, joy and dancing through Love…
The experience of heartache,
Triumphs and Mistakes
The waves of Gratitude
in those simple moments
of breath, verse and song

Oh next question…
may silly or curious
Yet…

Would you change your life?

Change all those things, people and tricks you learned
To be something different?

 

Smiling growing on the face…
The answer can be yes and/or no
Truly most of my life can’t really be changed.
Yet those moments that changed your path
that person that you loved that got away, left or ran?
Or the brilliant business idea that wasn’t followed through
and of course, those “what ifs?” can run for miles.

Yet…
If that person didn’t get away
what other people wouldn’t you meet?

Those moments moving you from one adventure to another,
Would like to miss that adventure really?

Business idea, yes, timing is important…
“what if” that time is now…and not when you first got it?

The “what ifs” will always add to the excitement of possibilities
And the love of the adventure
of choices and choosing to create.

Who are you now?

How would or do you think
you would be better, different or changed?

The magic is in the Now…
Leaps of faith and trusting yourself.

So that is the last question here…
Do you trust yourself, enough to have the courage, 
To love all that you are, have been and still growing?

I sure hope so. ~jh

*****

Colors of Life

Colors of Life

colours

Before my eyes lay the ways of the infinite wisdom…
Of love and the glories that live,
Hidden in the heart, mind, and soul
as they dance across the universe
opening each door to me.

I have the choice to open and walk through
Or turn humbly or egotistical away.
Unmatched in the beauty, each door is a gateway…
Closer to the prosperity of wisdom
Worthy of the wisest men and beautiful women.

Think not, the women are not smart…
Ah she has the brightest of heart
With the union of strength and nurturing,
Knowing exactly when to use both, either or neither.

Come, Child, be that smart woman with the beauty…
Opening the doors before you.
And the men will follow like the cub to his mother…
To lover to the Beloved
A bee to a flower

Open your heart dear Child…
Show your beauty hidden inside with grace and wisdom.
Wisdom built on ley lines have a consistency power…
Never fluctuating from the pulse of the Universal Heart.

Plain as the color of the moment to appear
You two create each moment’s color
Being the brightest
Or reds, greens, and blues
Or the muted hues of the same

Create your palette and see the beauty
You have within you
Hidden, alive and ready for action
Breathe and you live…right?
Or do you?

If your palette be dried without the watercolor to rejuvenate it?
Pigments like the atoms of thought
Generate the essence within the presence of life.
Dull sky does change to be bright as the sun arrives
with the Colors of the yellows, oranges and reds hues…
Enriched textures of the mind’s journey

The soul longs to see the stars in all their brilliance
Dancing before the plights
Another connection of the heart
And soul lingering in the forefront of the colored moment. ~jh

As published on The Tattooed Buddhas

Walking with my Shadow

Walking with my Shadow

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shadow 2 @jenniferhillman

 

“Your life will be transformed when you make peace with your shadow. The caterpillar will become a breathtakingly beautiful butterfly. You will no longer have to pretend to be someone you’re not. You will no longer have to prove you’re good enough. When you embrace your shadow you will no longer have to life in fear. Find the gifts of your shadow and you will finally revel in all the glory of your true self. Then you will have the freedom to create the life you have always desired.” ~Debbie Ford

 

Lots of changes, processing and observing has happened within many of us. People come and go as people fulfill the shared agreement or found some kind of new understand with people. Perhaps it is just more distance between or the form of conversation change as the friendships are evolving. It is all part of the transition we all are feeling late.

It has been no different for me. I normally would be writing about the process and observation as it occurs, yet this time, I knew I need quiet in my reflections. Especially when two trusted healers to tell me there is a childhood wound in the process of healing and the scab has been just pulling off. OUCH! Why did I do that?

I really thought I was done processing and healing that one!?

Repeating affirmations and gaining some reasons for the continuing angst of my inner child, we regained the connection into whole again. As this process was going on, out of the shadows came a black cat. Long slender like a Black Panther or Jaguar (the energy of reclaiming your power), he came to greet me one early morning as I returned from my walking meditation. It was still rather dark out and I didn’t see him yet, just a quick movement to the bush. Slowly he approaches with an easy stroke and attitude. I touched him and he purred loudly. Laying his head on my shoulder as I stroke his black body, he loved the attention. He reminded me of another cat who appeared out of nowhere, full of love I named Shadow. This Shadow stayed around so I gave him some food and water. He soon found a mouse (details) and chased it. I got the mouse away from him only to turn around to find the mouse in Shadow’s mouth again.

Each morning, Shadow would greet me with a loud meow. I would pick him up and go on my walking meditation with Shadow in my arms. Listening to the consisted rolling music from this Shadow as he looked around from a high perspective that the surroundings gave me insights to at my inner wounds from a higher place to reflect just what was I gaining from this story hindering my life. Why was it repeating into this time or was this like a test to see my reaction or response to it? It was a month between the two healers told me about the lingering angst of my inner child. She was reflecting my feelings about my life and all the pieces seeming missing. The hiding inside and lurking with wonder at what do I want to do now.

 

@jenniferhillman2015

@jenniferhillman2015

 

The walks continued for a week when another black cat, smaller in size, yet the same demeanor appeared at my door. Friendly and hungry, playful and full of curious, like myself after looking from a different perspective with my inner child, not just at my inner child. Integration with the fighter inside, longing to be heard was taking place. Soon, the original larger Shadow wasn’t around as much as the little Shadow was sticking around all day, laying on a child out front, waiting peacefully for something to intrigue him.

I continued walking, joined by now both Shadows, running, climbing trees and chasing each other. Cats are the independent spirit with mischievous nature of magic. Black is all the colors mixed together and the purity of going within to be in the light.

Signs are always around you if you are aware of your environment. Subtle awareness of things being different from before and opening your mind to the consciousness of your truth assists the process. As you embrace your life, walk with your shadow, you find the magic returns and manifestation of joy comes with intentions.

 

PS: The cats are owned by a neighbor who leaves the window open for them. They are safe and well taken care of by the entire neighborhood. I call them “the community therapy cats”.