Be Present

{~ Redita Nesvarbu}

The Full Moon whispered to me, “Trust and be honest with yourself, your projects, ideas and, most importantly, the truth about who you are now… and who you are to be.”

I sat in the chilly morning light, feeling that sinking feeling about where I am right now. The dreams of all the missteps and mistakes — I mean, lessons — I have learned along the way to this point in my life.

The feeling of frustration grew as I realized where I am and the visions I have seen of my future, where I may have been, aren’t aligned. I keep changing my mind out of convenience, and at the end of this or that road, the 2×4 waited for me.

Having taken responsibility for the paths I have taken, I gave myself permission to be the rebel, yet somehow the pressures of societal obligations beat me down. And this is the place I have been in for a while.

The highs and lows of this manic existence haven’t helped.

Tears, writing and making a new plan of directions… reevaluating that vision I had and the passion I still hold for it gets me to a space between worlds and looking for some balance in it all.

Balance is one of the themes of this Full Moon in Libra. I have been reading about this Full Moon vibe being about relationships… mainly a relationship with yourself, your path/journey and making peace with where you are now.

I am releasing the critic inside with forgiveness for those missteps and repeating lessons, simply finding my priorities in my current state, letting go of the past thoughts and ideas except for the ones echoing from my soul.

Am I hearing my soul? Did I listen to my soul correctly the last time I was in this spot?

Yet, I don’t think I have been at this spot before, except for the echoing ideas that seem to cling to me.

As the ascension slowly moves through the cycles and circles of life’s journey, I look backward to see how much I have grown within the silence.

The Full Moon and the silence seem to be conspiring together right now and laughing at this situation. The urgency for completion of projects and ideas sweeps over me like a fever.

I work and get interrupted by the physical world’s needs. That is the frustration building inside me in this moment. As the famous line of Greta Garbo from Grand Hotel goes, “I want to be alone.”

The Full Moon sees this, and the eclipsing energies in my house of service aren’t helping me complete my priorities or allowing me that alone time I so need. Yet service to others is a priority, right? I stop and count my blessings.

Breathe in, recenter and continue.

I am getting closer to completing some of those projects, including another book of poetry named 30, an online class of shadow work, and knowing those books halfway completed are getting done.

I am remembering to breathe, walking in nature, listening to the wind whispering magical ideas and insights to me, and enjoying this process.

The Full Moon whispered to me in the morning, allowing and reminding me about all the situations I’ve been through… and that’s it… I got through it all. I am still here, giving, surrendering and being present to the magic around me.

One of the most repeated thoughts I have is, Live Your Magic. And that is exactly what my priority is. Live and Be Magic.

Lie down with Mother Nature
Feel the sweet embrace of her Beingness
the vastness of possibilities with Father Sky above
Be at peace with your magic, dwelling deep within you.
Allow yourself to melt into one
All your aspects with the Divinity of Love.
Be at peace with all you are and will be.

*****

published on Rebelle Society on March 29, 2016